Paul was no Josh Groban or Simon Baker, but he wasn’t bad. And I was hurt that to him, whose opinion I valued, I was just your average everyday plain ole jane, nothing that made me special.
Now I can’t speak for Paul, but as he spoke those words I felt differently of him. I won’t say I felt less of him, or loved him less, or cared for him less. But I thought differently. I’m not sure I can really put what I felt or thought into words.
Paul and I will never be, and I’m okay with that. I may right now some what wish I hadn’t asked, and I may feel it was a stupid question. But my mom is right. I needed to know. There is no hope for Paul and I as a couple. But there is still the hope and dream that one day I’ll find someone who’ll love me for me with all my flaws and imperfections and cherish me and those. One day I’ll fall in love with all of him as well. That we’ll be the one who is just right for each other.
To move on from Marc I had to move and then see him married. To remove any doubt or questions about Paul I needed to ask one stupid, or smart question.
To move on in life I have to put them behind me and just be grateful for what they gave me. Love of their friendship and the blessings that came with it.
End
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