Sharing is hard

Lincoln has a work truck that is for work only. So we share my car. He wanted to car this week so that means he had to drop me off at the airport at 6 am. I don't have to be at work until 5:30 pm. So now I have to spend 11 freaking hours at the airport. I'm tired and bored. I wish I hadn't agreed to him having my car. Sometimes sharing the car is really hard.

http://www.fanfiction.net/u/2912168/fstigtmsb

Draggin Through

There really isn't a lot to report on. Things with Lincoln being here are going well. Really well with him. A part of me may be a little jealous. I've been here in Charlotte for a year and a half and still struggle to feel like I fit in and belong. Links is here just under three months and already has a good set of friends and feels like he belongs. Don't get me wrong I'm happy for him and it's what I wanted for him. But it's a little frustrating that I've been here as long as I have been and don't feel like I can call anyone really a friend. Their just Sunday/church friends. The only place that I have ever felt like I belonged and was happy was Virginia. I should have never left. It's a regret that I'll live with for the rest of my life. I loved my time in Virginia and life was wonderful up there. I can't say that it would feel the same way now if I were to move up there now cause so much as changed since I lived there. But had I never left and gone through the changes while still there I can still see myself being happy up there. I'm not 100% happy right now in life. And while I'm not ready to make any big life desicions or changes yet, there are things that I'm starting to think about. I've been a flight attendant for about 7 1/2 years now and while I've set the goal to do it for two more years (then I'll have ten years under my belt) I'm not sure I really want to do it that much longer. I still enjoy what I do, but more often than not I wish I was doing something else. What? I don't know. I'm not trained in anything else nor do I have the education to do anything else. I have thought about going back to school, but at 28 I almost feel too old to go back to school. And I have no idea what I'd study. I like living in Charlotte and have no plans to leave it any time soon. I just wish life was different. I wish life had a different plan for me. I still at times find myself wondering how life would be different if things had ever worked out between my best friend and I. We get along so well and easily and care for and love each other greatly. And no one can make me laugh like he can. But there are no romantic feelings on either side. That and he's called me fat and ugly. Though I don't think all that much of myself I feel I deserve someone who doesn't see me that way, or at least would never say it to me. I've got to stop watching the movie Les Miserables. It's funny cause at first I hated the movie and now I enjoy it a lot. Gotta love Hugh Jackman!