Okay I don't want to offend anyone, it's just something I feel the need to get off my chest. Now first off I'm happy for all my friends that have found true love and I hope for nothing but joy, happiness and all the love in the world. It's just that I wonder if it will ever be my turn. I'm 24 now and I aint getting younger. I feel like an old maid. This year alone it seems like I have a friend who has either gotten married or engaged almost once a month.
I had a friend that got married in February, two in March, one in April, two in June, two in July, one in August, one this month and I just found out that another good of mine just got engaged.
I tell people that I had a boyfriend in high school, but truth be told you really can't call what Tom and I had a relationship. We were just friends that called each other boyfriend and girlfriend. But we never really dated. But I say I have an ex to make myself feel better. Otherwise I'm a 24 year old who has never been in a relationship.
Yes I've had people tell me that being in a relationship isn't all that great most of the time. But I just want to know what it is like to love someone and have them love me in return. Instead it's always me who falls for them but it's never anything but friendship in return. And I'm sick of it. It's frusterating. Like I said I'm happy for all my friends that have found that someone in their lives. And I truly wish them well.
I guess you can say I'm jealous. There is a rather large part of me that thinks, feels and fears that I'll never find that. I will never have a family of my own. That is all I have ever wanted in life. Is to be a wife and mother.
I'm pretty much content of where my life is right now and I wouldn't have given up my experiences I've had to have the wish come true. But as I get older I feel time is running out. I just want a turn. Why is that so much to ask for?
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